Hello Mister or Miss Mystery Googler/potential MLIA'r.

Thanks for stopping by!

I've decided to equip you for the upcoming zombie apocalypse that will result in the destruction of life as we know it.

Here are your instructions:

1. GET YOUR HANDS ON SOME SKITTLES:

Skittles will be used as currency in the Zombie Dynasty.

2. GATHER AS MUCH SPAM AS YOU CAN:
Aside from its general deliciousness and near inability to spoil, SPAM [which my brother affectionately refers to as Spare Parts of Assorted Mammals] can be used as a distraction for zombies in hunt of brains. Easily carved into the shape of a human brain and tasty enough to nibble on in a pinch, SPAM will be a useful agent to employ. I prefer it cooked, but I've never been offended by SPAM in any form.


3. GET YOUR WEAPONS READY. If you've ever seen Tim Burton's *great* film Mars Attacks! you will know that the greatest weapon that can be used against an unwanted assailant is sound. In my many years of Zombie research, I have discovered that one singer's voice has the desired affect of exploding zombie heads. At the risk of offended the aforementioned "artist" I will resist giving away her name. However, I will give you a hint or two so that you can be prepared to set up a Zombie Slayer themed radio station that will broadcast her tunes and function as a huge defense mechanism for the Alive population. Here are your hints:

pop princess for 8(|


Tip: If the music becomes too much for you to bear, grab a machete. Decapitation takes more work than an incidental cranial explosion, but it tends to be a tad less messy in the long run. Also, ninjas are way more helpful in a zombie apocalypse than pirates, the egg came before the chicken (thank you, evolution) and yes, the moon is made of cheese.


Good luck, Friend. I wish you well.
You have my regards,
Sarah.